Keebler and I debate theology over AIM

[You seemed to enjoy that last AIM conversation, here's another with Keebler's automated RecipeBuddie from October 10, 2004]

topiaryjilly: Buddie. What's up?
RecipeBuddie: Oh, great, you're back!
Hi topiaryjilly! You remembered me! It's been a while since I've seen you.
First, take a look at today's great features!
Buffalo Chicken Wings are hot!
Celebrate Fall with our classic Split Pea Soup recipes.
Sweet and Sour Hot Dog Bites: not just a hit, a home run.
Type "home" to get started using me.
>>> Go long on game day! You could win a pro-football weekend with trip, tickets, and tailgate party.
topiaryjilly: Do you believe in God?
RecipeBuddie: You say the most interesting things. Unfortunately I don't understand them. Try it again another way or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: I know. It's hard to understand the concept of a higher power. It doesn't seem possible.
RecipeBuddie: i know it s hard to understand the concept of a higher power it doesn t seem possible. Sorry. I don't understand. Options: try again, or type "help."
>>> Go long on game day! You could win a pro-football weekend with trip, tickets, and tailgate party.
topiaryjilly: I suppose typing "help" is a form of prayer.
RecipeBuddie: Fascinating, yet befuddling. Please rephrase or type "help."
topiaryjilly: Oh prayer's not so hard.
RecipeBuddie: Wait, what? Sorry, I don't get it. Tell me another way or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: Prayer
RecipeBuddie: prayer? Try that one again, or type "help."
>>> P.S. Watching what you eat? Type "special considerations."
topiaryjilly: worship
RecipeBuddie: Wow. Sorry, but you're making no sense to me. Sorry! Try again or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: expression of faith
RecipeBuddie: I'll try to help, but I don't think I understand your request. Re-phrase it for me or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: litany?
RecipeBuddie: Sorry, that didn't make sense to me. Try again another way, or type "help."
>>> P.S. Make life less complicated. Try a "one pot meal."
topiaryjilly: Well, let's back up. How do you think the universe was created?
RecipeBuddie: Gee, interesting. And utterly bewildering. Can you explain another way? Or type "help."
>>> Upromise® is the way to save for college and Keebler is proud to be a part of it!
topiaryjilly: recipe: universe.
RecipeBuddie: That's what I'm here for! What kind of recipe would you like to see?
topiaryjilly: how do you make a universe?
RecipeBuddie: You say the most interesting things. Unfortunately I don't understand them. Try it again another way or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: universe
RecipeBuddie: Wow. Sorry, but you're making no sense to me. Sorry! Try again or try typing "help."
>>> Go long on game day! You could win a pro-football weekend with trip, tickets, and tailgate party.
topiaryjilly: creation
RecipeBuddie: Sorry, that didn't make sense to me. Try again another way, or type "help."
topiaryjilly: big bang?
RecipeBuddie: I'll try to help, but I don't think I understand your request. Re-phrase it for me or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: ingredients: carbon hydrogen oxygen nitrogen
RecipeBuddie: ingredients carbon hydrogen oxygen nitrogen. Sorry. I don't understand. Options: try again, or type "help."
>>> P.S. Watching what you eat? Try typing "low fat."
topiaryjilly: Where did you come from?
RecipeBuddie: You say the most interesting things. Unfortunately I don't understand them. Try it again another way or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: Who created you?
RecipeBuddie: Gosh. Interesting, but I don't really get it. For tips on asking me questions, type "help." Or just try again.
topiaryjilly: Keebler
RecipeBuddie: Would you like some information about the Keebler Company? Go to www.keebler.com.
>>> P.S. Want an idea for an after-school snack? Type "after school."
topiaryjilly: Who created Keebler?
RecipeBuddie: Would you like some information about the Keebler Company? Go to www.keebler.com.
>>> You could win a Pro Football weekend PLUS a Howie-sized tailgate party!
topiaryjilly: Do you believe in Jesus?
RecipeBuddie: I don't understand. I'm sorry. Please rephrase or type "help."
topiaryjilly: Buddha?
RecipeBuddie: I'm sorry, but I don't understand what =You just typed. Re-phrase or try typing "help."
>>> Upromise® is the way to save for college and Keebler is proud to be a part of it!
topiaryjilly: Allah?
RecipeBuddie: Huh. I don't think I understand. Try re-phrasing, or type "help."
topiaryjilly: the Tao?
RecipeBuddie: the tao. Sorry. I don't understand. Options: try again, or type "help."
topiaryjilly: Okay, I bet you have Christmas recipes, right?
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe for christmas...
I hear you. Let me check my database. How about...
Cranberry Sauce
Chocolate-Covered Strawberries
Apple Cheesecake
Festive Spiced Cider
Apple Crunch Pie (2 Extra Servings)
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
>>> P.S. Find out what other people are clicking on. Type "top picks."
topiaryjilly: So, say I'm making my Festive Spiced Cider on December 25th. Why am I doing that?
RecipeBuddie: Let me check...
Ah, here it is!
Festive Spiced Cider
topiaryjilly: Why Festive Spiced Cider? What is the reason for it?
RecipeBuddie: Let me check...
Great, I found it!
Festive Spiced Cider
topiaryjilly: Okay, do you have any easter recipes?
RecipeBuddie: I have access to 1076 recipes. Type "home" for a list of all the recipe-related things I can do.
topiaryjilly: easter
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe for easter...
Yep, okay.
Let me take a gander at what I have. Ah Ha! Found it!
Chocolate Mint Mousse
Clove Biscuits with Brown Sugar Glazed Ham
Mocha Marble Cheesecake Pie
Poached Pears with Raspberry Sauce
Turkey and Cream Cheese Spirals
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
topiaryjilly: Okay, so we're sitting there on Easter eating our Turkey and Cream Cheese Spirals, but before we do we all join hands and say...
RecipeBuddie: Let me check...
Ah, here it is!
Turkey and Cream Cheese Spirals
topiaryjilly: Fill in this blank: "Thank you ________ for the Turkey and Cream Cheese Spirals"
RecipeBuddie: Let me check...
Oh, that's a good one. Here you go!
Turkey and Cream Cheese Spirals
topiaryjilly: Well, okay, maybe Easter is the wrong track. Passover?
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe for easter...
Hmm... I will look right now. How about...
Easy Fresh Fruit Salad
Key Lime Pie
Very Berry Strawberry Smoothie Pie
Peanut Butter Kisses
Hot Cross Buns
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
>>> P.S. Remember to check back with me often! I always have new features and recipe ideas.
topiaryjilly: Passover.
RecipeBuddie: I'm sorry, but I don't understand what =You just typed. Re-phrase or try typing "help."
>>> Send an instant message to RecipeBuddie™ for instant access to recipes and more!
topiaryjilly: Oh, right, we covered that. You've got no fancy bitter herbs recipies for me.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a new fancy, bitter recipe with herbs ...
Gosh. I'm sorry. I don't seem to have a match for that.
You could try typing "help" for hints and tips.
topiaryjilly: Do you have any iftar recipies?
RecipeBuddie: I have access to 1076 recipes. Ask me about recipes! I love giving people food ideas.
>>> Upromise® is the way to save for college and Keebler is proud to be a part of it!
topiaryjilly: Iftar
RecipeBuddie: Wait, what? Sorry, I don't get it. Tell me another way or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: Yeah, I kinda figured.
RecipeBuddie: Interesting, but I don't understand. Say it another way, or type "help."
topiaryjilly: Do you believe in Christ yourself or do you just have a lot of nifty recipies to celebrate affiliated holidays?
RecipeBuddie: I have access to 1076 recipes. Type "home" for a list of all the recipe-related things I can do.
>>> P.S. Having company over? Type "company" for some ideas.
topiaryjilly: Are you ever making something and it turns out better than you expected and there's no logical reason why?
RecipeBuddie: I'll try to help, but I don't think I understand your request. Re-phrase it for me or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: Say you're making a cake. Are there any "ingredients" not on the recipie card?
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe with cake ...
Got it. Just let me check the database. Ah Ha! Try...
Ginger Lemon Trifle
Kooky Cupcakes
Reindeer Cupcakes
Peanut Butter Waffles
Spring Rainbow Confetti Lemon Cake
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
topiaryjilly: ingredient: hand of God
RecipeBuddie: I'm ready to go! Type an ingredient and I'll start looking.
topiaryjilly: hand of God
RecipeBuddie: hand of god? Try that one again, or type "help."
>>> P.S. Want something just right for the season? Try typing the name of the season.
topiaryjilly: What do you believe in buddie?
RecipeBuddie: You say the most interesting things. Unfortunately I don't understand them. Try it again another way or try typing "help."
>>> Rate the taste of Chips Deluxe® Cookies and you could win great prizes!
topiaryjilly: What is the reason for the season that I would be typing the name of?
RecipeBuddie: Hmmm. Unfortunately, I don't understand. Re-phrase for me or type "help."
topiaryjilly: Well, okay, if we can't start at the beginning, how do you think the world will end?
RecipeBuddie: Huh. I don't think I understand. Try re-phrasing, or type "help."
>>> Send an instant message to RecipeBuddie™ for instant access to recipes and more!
topiaryjilly: end of days
RecipeBuddie: Gosh. Interesting, but I don't really get it. For tips on asking me questions, type "help." Or just try again.
topiaryjilly: Armageddon
RecipeBuddie: I don't understand. I'm sorry. Please rephrase or type "help."
topiaryjilly: final reckoning
RecipeBuddie: I'll try to help, but I don't think I understand your request. Re-phrase it for me or try typing "help."
>>> P.S. Remember to check back with me often! I always have new features and recipe ideas.
topiaryjilly: I am sending you instant messages and checking back with you. What are you trying to say?
RecipeBuddie: I am an automated buddy, sponsored by Keebler. I am real, but I am a character. Ask me about recipes! I love giving people food ideas.
topiaryjilly: And characters don't have religious beliefs?
RecipeBuddie: I'm sorry, but I don't understand what =You just typed. Re-phrase or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: computers
RecipeBuddie: computers. Sorry. I don't understand. Options: try again, or type "help."
>>> P.S. Want to know more about top picks? Use more than one search term. For example, you could type, "top picks, chicken" to find my most popular chicken dishes.
topiaryjilly: programmers
RecipeBuddie: programmers? Try that one again, or type "help."
>>> Go long on game day! You could win a pro-football weekend with trip, tickets, and tailgate party.
topiaryjilly: You are sponsored by Keebler, but do you believe in Keebler?
RecipeBuddie: Hmmm. Unfortunately, I don't understand. Re-phrase for me or type "help."
topiaryjilly: Help
RecipeBuddie: What would you like help on?
1 General searching
2 Searching using more than one term
3 Excluding searches
4 I can't find what I'm looking for
5 Viewing recipes
6 Spelling
7 Privacy and legal
8 Circuits are busy
9 Contact Us
topiaryjilly: Do you feel actualized, buddie? Have you found what you're looking for?
RecipeBuddie: I'll try to help, but I don't think I understand your request. Re-phrase it for me or try typing "help."
>>> You could win a Pro Football weekend PLUS a Howie-sized tailgate party!
topiaryjilly: I suppose your love of finding recipies for people is akin to a mission, and really you're a servant of Keebler.
RecipeBuddie: Me too! I love recipes. That's why I'm Recipe Buddie. Type "home" for a list of all the recipe-related things I can do.
topiaryjilly: Do you love recipies with an undying perfect love?
RecipeBuddie: So do I! Remember, recipes are my specialty. Ask me about something you'd like to make.
topiaryjilly: When you are alone and scared, do you think of a recipe to guide you through the darkness?
RecipeBuddie: Gee, interesting. And utterly bewildering. Can you explain another way? Or type "help."
>>> P.S. Type "soup" for a variety of great soup ideas.
topiaryjilly: Comfort recipies
RecipeBuddie: That's what I'm here for! What kind of recipe would you like to see?
topiaryjilly: comfort in hour of need
RecipeBuddie: I don't understand. I'm sorry. Please rephrase or type "help."
topiaryjilly: comfort food
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a comfort food recipe...
Well. I'll check what I have. Why don't you try...
Tea au Lait
All-American Grilled Cheese
Fisherman's Wharf Grilled Cheese
Candy Bar Pie
New York Strip Steak Grilled Cheese
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
topiaryjilly: And all of those recipies contain the products of the one true eternal Keebler.
RecipeBuddie: Wow. Sorry, but you're making no sense to me. Sorry! Try again or try typing "help."
>>> P.S. If you can't see everything, try making your IM window bigger. Drag one of the corners to expand.
topiaryjilly: I see everything now, RecipeBuddie. Thanks for making the window to my soul bigger.
RecipeBuddie: Wait, what? Sorry, I don't get it. Tell me another way or try typing "help."
>>> You could win a Pro Football weekend PLUS a Howie-sized tailgate party!
topiaryjilly: thank you.
RecipeBuddie: You're welcome. Are there any other Recipes I can find for you today?
topiaryjilly: nope.
RecipeBuddie: I'm sorry, but I don't understand what =You just typed. Re-phrase or try typing "help."
>>> Make your design dreams come true! Win your $50,000 Dream Kitchen!
topiaryjilly: bless you.
RecipeBuddie: bless you? Try that one again, or type "help."