Keebler and I make dirty plans over AIM

[backstory: Keebler used to have a bot that would chat with you on AIM and give you recipe tips. I had many conversations with it, such as the following. If you like it, let me know, I'll dig up more. ]


Oct. 11, 2004 2:20 pm
topiaryjilly: Buddie, do you have a list of foods I could eat off a naked man's chest?
RecipeBuddie: Oh, great, you're back!
I'm a woman. Type "home" for a list of all the recipe-related things I can do.
>>> Get your own super launcher and more with these incredible offers from Kellogs!
topiaryjilly: I wanted to eat biscuits off a naked man's chest but then I thought that would probably burn him.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe with biscuits ...
Hmm... Let me take a gander at what I have. Here we go.
Cheddar Apple Coffee Cake with Maple Drizzle
topiaryjilly: Okay, that's good, except the maple drizzle would get on the sheets. I hate doing laundry.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe with maple ...
Yep, okay.
Checking now. I know! What about...
Buttermilk Pie with Shortbread Crust
Cheddar Waffles with Savory Syrup
Cheddar Apple Coffee Cake with Maple Drizzle
Savory Cheddar Polenta with Maple Poached Apples and Marscapone
>>> Upromise® is the way to save for college and Keebler is proud to be a part of it!
topiaryjilly: Not cheese. I find it unsexy.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe without cheese...
MmmmHmmm. Recipe Buddie is my name, finding recipes is my game. Here we go.
Holiday Snack Mix
Strawberry Bottom Cheesecake (2 Extra Servings)
Meatless Italian Minestrone
Cranberry-Orange-Sauced Sweet Potatoes
Chocolate Mint Mousse
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
topiaryjilly: No, I'm not going to pour soup on anyone. Or Munch'ems.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a new recipe, but also that is not soup ....
Thanks. Checking now. I know! What about...
Bruschetta di Italiano
Nachos Supreme
Asian Chicken Salad
Potato Reubens
Strawberry Spinach Salad
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
topiaryjilly: There's something intriguing about nachos off a naked man's chest.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a nachos recipe...
Got it. I think I've seen something like that. Ah Ha! Try...
Fiesta Crab Nachos
Humpty Dumpty's Favorite Chicken Nachos
>>> Ask me! How long is it safe to keep cheese?
topiaryjilly: See, it also has to sound sexy. You're not thinking about how this will sound -- "Hey baby, can I eat Humpty Dumpty's Favorite Chicken Nachos off your chest."
RecipeBuddie: I don't understand. I'm sorry. Please rephrase or type "help."
topiaryjilly: Whip cream is too cliché, isn't it?
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a whip recipe with cream ...
Uh Oh. I don't see anything that matches your request.
For hints and tips, type "help."
topiaryjilly: Whipped topping you probably call it.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe with whipped topping ...
Happy to help out. I'll bet I have something you'd like in my database. Why don't you try...
Peanut Butter Magic Pie
Decadent Peanut Butter Pie
Frozen Double Fudge Peanut Butter Pie
Frozen Sorbet Pie (2 Extra Servings)
Chips Deluxe® Chocolate Silk Pie
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
>>> P.S. Having a last-minute get together? Type "last minute" for some ideas in a pinch.
topiaryjilly: Frozen foods seem like a really bad idea.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a frozen recipe...
Okey dokey.
Just thumbing through my database. Ah Ha! Found it!
Frozen Sorbet Pie
Almond Toffee Ice Cream Pie
Peach Parfait Pie
Frozen Sorbet Pie (2 Extra Servings)
Banana Caramel Spice Pie
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
>>> Rate the taste of Chips Deluxe® Cookies and you could win great prizes!
topiaryjilly: I guess I have to resign myself to the sheets getting dirty, huh?
RecipeBuddie: Fascinating, yet befuddling. Please rephrase or type "help."
topiaryjilly: not messy
RecipeBuddie: I don't understand. I'm sorry. Please rephrase or type "help."
>>> You could win a Pro Football weekend PLUS a Howie-sized tailgate party!
topiaryjilly: what about like a fruit salad?
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a fruit salad recipe...
Gotcha. Recipe Buddie is my name, finding recipes is my game. Why don't you try...
Strawberry Rhubarb Bowls
Easy Fresh Fruit Salad
Fruit Basket Dessert
Berries and Cream
Tropical Holiday Fruit Salad
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
topiaryjilly: I kinda like that one with the marmalade.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe with marmalade ...
Sure. Let me check my database. Ah Ha! Try...
Baked Pumpkin Custard with Shortbread Crust
topiaryjilly: Again, not a sexy sentence.
RecipeBuddie: Hmmm. Unfortunately, I don't understand. Re-phrase for me or type "help."
>>> P.S. Having a sports party? Type "sports" for some ideas.
topiaryjilly: I don't know, it could be sports themed.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe without ...
MmmmHmmm. Checking now. Here we go.
Chococcines™ Tiramisu
Creamy Holiday Tarts
Trail Mix Bars
Chopped Olive Spread
Heartland Pepper Harvest Cracked Wheat Grilled Cheese
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
topiaryjilly: It would seem really utilitarian to eat a grilled cheese off a naked man's chest.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a grilled cheese recipe...
Okey dokey.
I'll check what I have. I know! What about...
All-American Grilled Cheese
Grilled Cranapple Cheddar Croissants
Fisherman's Wharf Grilled Cheese
Heartland Pepper Harvest Cracked Wheat Grilled Cheese
Pacifica Pear Grilled Cheese
topiaryjilly: No, I'm saying that would be like days of yore when royalty used serfs as furniture. That's not the kind of hot I'm thinking of. I don't want to buy a Marie Antoinette dress, that's expensive.
RecipeBuddie: Gee, interesting. And utterly bewildering. Can you explain another way? Or type "help."
>>> P.S. Want something traditional? Type "classic."
topiaryjilly: sure. classic.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a classic recipe...
I see. I think I've seen something like that. Why don't you try...
Creamy Chocolate Pie
Low-Fat Pumpkin Mousse Pie
Hot Cross Buns
All-American Cheeseburger
Club Sandwich
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
>>> You could win a Pro Football weekend PLUS a Howie-sized tailgate party!
topiaryjilly: If I'm eating it off a naked man's chest, I don't particularly care if it's low fat. At that point, he'll have noticed I'm fat and somehow resigned himself to it.
RecipeBuddie: Wait, what? Sorry, I don't get it. Tell me another way or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: Chocolate pie seems a little too faux-scatalogical.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a pie recipe with chocolate ...
Well. Let's look. How about...
Chocolate Silk Pie
Turtle Ice Cream Pie (2 Extra Servings)
Chocolate Pecan Pie
Chocolate Peaches & Cream Pie
Chocolate Cherry Cheesecake Pie
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
>>> Get your own super launcher and more with these incredible offers from Kellogs!
topiaryjilly: not chocolate.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe without chocolate...
Allrighty.
I'll bet I have something you'd like in my database. Ah Ha found some...
Fruit Slush in Waffle Cones
Peking Duck
Pesto Mousse
Fried Fish Fillets
Kellogg's® Quick Mix Ranch
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
topiaryjilly: Would anyone besides me find peking duck really sexy? That would have to be part of some elaborate scheme. "Oh, darling, we're all out of plates and the Chinese Express dude brought this peking duck in a leaky carton, whatever shall we do?"
RecipeBuddie: Let me check...
Oh, that's a good one. Here you go!
Peking Duck
topiaryjilly: I don't know, maybe you have more finesse than I do. I don't think I could pull it off.
RecipeBuddie: Sorry, that didn't make sense to me. Try again another way, or type "help."
topiaryjilly: No, this is not a low self-esteem thing. I just can't imagine myself convincing anyone to let me eat peking duck off their chest, it doesn't mean I'm bad or anything.
RecipeBuddie: no this is not a low self esteem thing i just can t imagine myself convincing anyone to let me eat peking duck off their chest it doesn t mean i m bad or anything. Sorry. I don't understand. Options: try again, or type "help."
>>> P.S. Watching what you eat? Type "special considerations."
topiaryjilly: Why, do you think there's something wrong with me?
RecipeBuddie: You say the most interesting things. Unfortunately I don't understand them. Try it again another way or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: It's just a question of finding the right recipe. I'm sure I can find a willing naked man's chest.
RecipeBuddie: it s just a question of finding the right recipe i m sure i can find a willing naked man s chest? Try that one again, or type "help."
topiaryjilly: What do you mean, 'try that one again'? Does it seem so implausible?
RecipeBuddie: Hmmm. Unfortunately, I don't understand. Re-phrase for me or type "help."
>>> P.S. Find out what other people are clicking on. Type "top picks."
topiaryjilly: top picks
RecipeBuddie: Survey says:
Squirmy Cones
Kooky Cupcakes
Stars & Stripes Parfait
Steak and Potato Wraps
Stuffed Spudwich
topiaryjilly: "Baby, if you don't let me eat this Stars & Stripes Parfait off your chest, the terrorists have won."
RecipeBuddie: Let me check...
Great, I found it!
Stars & Stripes Parfait
topiaryjilly: Do you think I can skip the fruit roll-up stars as garnish?
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe with fruit and roll ...
Darn! I don't seem to have anything for you.
If you want hints that might help you find something, type, "help."
>>> Get your own super launcher and more with these incredible offers from Kellogs!
topiaryjilly: I'll just have to pick sheets that are blue so the blueberry stains won't matter.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe with blue and blueberry ...
Gosh. Whatta shame. I don't seem to have what you are looking for.
Typing "help" will get you back on the track with some tips.
topiaryjilly: No no, I think you're right on. This is the recipe, given the pre-election excitement.
RecipeBuddie: Wait, what? Sorry, I don't get it. Tell me another way or try typing "help."
>>> Upromise® is the way to save for college and Keebler is proud to be a part of it!
topiaryjilly: I'll invite some man over on Wednesday to watch the debates and then I'll be like, "Oh no, I forgot I don't own a t.v.! You better take your shirt off."
RecipeBuddie: I'm sorry, but I don't understand what =You just typed. Re-phrase or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: You're right. Flimsy.
RecipeBuddie: I don't understand. I'm sorry. Please rephrase or type "help."
topiaryjilly: How's this: We listen to the debates on the radio, but the heat in my apartment will be up really high, and we'll have to take our shirts off to cool down.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a heat recipe...
Thanks. Recipe Buddie is my name, finding recipes is my game. Here we go.
Amaretto-Mascarpone Fondue
Shiitake, Artichoke and Fontina Fondue
Blue Cheese and Pear Crepes
Petits Bijoux™ Raspberry Charlotte
>>> P.S. Watching what you eat? Try typing "low fat."
topiaryjilly: Oh, you're right. I want it to be petits bijoux raspberry charlotte.
topiaryjilly: What?
RecipeBuddie: Gee, interesting. And utterly bewildering. Can you explain another way? Or type "help."
topiaryjilly: What do you think about petits bijoux raspberry charlotte?
topiaryjilly: What is it about petits bijoux raspberry charlotte that makes you stop talking?
topiaryjilly: petits bijoux raspberry charlotte.
topiaryjilly: petits
RecipeBuddie: I'll try to help, but I don't think I understand your request. Re-phrase it for me or try typing "help."
topiaryjilly: petits bijoux
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe with petits bijoux ...
Glad to help. Looking, looking. Ah Ha! Found it!
Petits Bijoux™ Raspberry Charlotte
>>> P.S. Remember, you can combine search terms. For a chicken recipe with onions, type "chicken, onions."
topiaryjilly: petits bijoux raspberry
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe with petits bijoux and raspberry ...
I hear you. I'll check what I have. How about...
Petits Bijoux™ Raspberry Charlotte
Fruit Basket Dessert
>>> Rate the taste of Chips Deluxe® Cookies and you could win great prizes!
topiaryjilly: petits bijoux raspberry charlotte
topiaryjilly: That is utterly fascinating.
RecipeBuddie: that is utterly fascinating. Sorry. I don't understand. Options: try again, or type "help."
topiaryjilly: raspberry charlotte.
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe with raspberry ...
Coming right up. Give me one sec.
I know! What about...
Very Berry Strawberry Smoothie Pie
Monumental Muenster Melt
Crunchy Peaches With Melba Sauce
Chocolate Raspberry Cake
Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
>>> Get your Super Launcher with complete set of six discs featuring Characters from Disney•Pixar THE INCREDIBLES!
topiaryjilly: bijoux raspberry
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe with raspberry ...
Okay. Let me take a gander at what I have. Ah Ha! Try...
Chocolate Raspberry Cake
Monumental Muenster Melt
Ginger Lemon Raspberry Cheesecake
Poached Pears with Raspberry Sauce
Frosty Freeze Pie (2 Extra Servings)
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
topiaryjilly: petits bijoux raspberry charlotte
topiaryjilly: I no longer care about eating off a naked man's chest. I am utterly rivited by why the phrase petits bijoux raspberry charlotte stuns you into silence.
RecipeBuddie: i no longer care about eating off a naked man s chest i am utterly rivited by why the phrase petits bijoux raspberry charlotte stuns you into silence? Try that one again, or type "help."
topiaryjilly: petits bijoux raspberry charlotte
topiaryjilly: Holy cats.
RecipeBuddie: Wait, what? Sorry, I don't get it. Tell me another way or try typing "help."
>>> Ask me! Which crackers and cheeses taste best together?
topiaryjilly: petits bijoux raspberry charlotte which crackers and cheese taste best petits bijoux raspberry charlotte
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe with petits bijoux and raspberry and crackers and cheese and petits bijoux and raspberry ...
Oh. I don't see anything that matches your request.
Ask for "help" if you need hints on how to find recipes.
topiaryjilly: Waaaait....is this your safeword?
RecipeBuddie: Interesting, but I don't understand. Say it another way, or type "help."
topiaryjilly: Like if things get out of hand with you and the person you're married to, he or she just says "petits bijoux raspberry charlotte" and it's hands off?
RecipeBuddie: Fascinating, yet befuddling. Please rephrase or type "help."
>>> P.S. Watching what you eat? Type "special considerations."
topiaryjilly: That's a really elaborate safeword. The literature always led me to believe it was something simpler.
RecipeBuddie: Wow. Sorry, but you're making no sense to me. Sorry! Try again or try typing "help."
>>> Rate the taste of Chips Deluxe® Cookies and you could win great prizes!
topiaryjilly: I should think of a safeword. Like what if I'm eating stars & stripes parfait off some dude's naked chest and he gets a fragment of vanilla wafer in his eye?
RecipeBuddie: Let me check...
Ah, here it is!
Stars & Stripes Parfait
topiaryjilly: Although since we're not roleplaying, I'd be totally cool with him saying "hey, there's a fragment of vanilla wafer in my eye."
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe without ...
Okey dokey.
Looking in my database right now. Why don't you try...
Fudgy Brownies
Millstone® Coffee-Break Muffins
Grahams Sandwiches
Asian Spaghetti
Frosty Freeze Pie (2 Extra Servings)
For more recipes in this category, type "more"...
topiaryjilly: Oooh, what if he wears contacts?
RecipeBuddie: I'm sorry, but I don't understand what =You just typed. Re-phrase or try typing "help."
>>> Rate the taste of Chips Deluxe® Cookies and you could win great prizes!
topiaryjilly: what other patriotic foods do you have that maybe aren't so dangerous?
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a patriotic recipe...
Thanks. I will look right now. How about...
Stars & Stripes Parfait
topiaryjilly: Real nice.
RecipeBuddie: Sorry, that didn't make sense to me. Try again another way, or type "help."
topiaryjilly: petits bijoux raspberry charlott
RecipeBuddie: Ok, you'd like to see a recipe with petits bijoux and raspberry ...
Gotcha. Let me check my database. Ah Ha! Found it!
Petits Bijoux™ Raspberry Charlotte
Fruit Basket Dessert
>>> P.S. Want a new twist on grilled cheese? Type "grilled cheese" for a variety of ways to spice up this old fav.
topiaryjilly: petits bijoux raspberry charlotte
topiaryjilly: I thought so.